


An Assembling

by unicornologist



Category: Super Junior-M
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Memories, Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-24
Updated: 2014-03-24
Packaged: 2018-01-16 21:23:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1362229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unicornologist/pseuds/unicornologist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are many types of love. Over the years, Kyuhyun and Zhoumi have explored each of them together, creating a story completely their own.</p><p>Assembling: /əˈsembəʹlĭng/ verb: to bring disparate parts together; IN ART (noun): a collection of interrelated items that together create a unique but meaningful whole.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Assembling

**Author's Note:**

  * For [project_break](https://archiveofourown.org/users/project_break/gifts).



> I hope you like it :)  
> Beta-ed by the forever effervescent and slightly scandalous Emily. Thank you for the commas and the dick jokes.

_February 14, 2012. Beijing, China; Seoul, South Korea._

 

Kyuhyun’s phone teetered on the edge of the table as it buzzed, nearly diving off the side. Luckily Kyuhyun rescued it, sparing a moment to check the texts he’d received. It was supposed to be his night off, relaxing and private. Which in Kyuhyun code meant video games and sleep. Lots of sleep.

 

To: Maknae Kyuhyun

From: Heechul the best hyung

Has Seasonings called you?

 

From: Heechul the best hyung

YAH- Worst maknae ever answer my texts. Seasonings? Your boyfriend? Phone call? Yes?

 

From: Heechul the best hyung

What, have you lost your ability to understand Korean?

 

From: Heechul the best hyung

Had your thumbs amputated due to a tragic piano accident

 

From: Heechul the best hyung

Why can’t you just be a normal maknae. Answer my goddamn texts!

 

From: Heechul the best hyung

Fine then. He’s _your_ crying boyfriend. I’m just saying, might wanna call Mimi.

 

            Kyuhyun groaned and glanced over at his clock. It was late, but if Heechul was serious then it was probably a good idea to at least check in. Kyuhyun started to type out a text to Zhoumi. He was about to press send when he received a panicked text from Henry. Kyuhyun sighed. If Henry and Heechul were panicking it must be a serious event.

            He scrolled through his contacts, stopping over My Mimi and clicking. He settled back on his bed and lifted his phone to his ear. The receiver picked up quickly, and there was a quiet grunt of acknowledgement.

            “Hello love. I was surprised you didn’t call earlier. Everything alright?” Kyuhyun ventured.

            “I watched the show earlier. We Got Married. I thought you would be too busy canoodling with your new wife or white bunny or whatever other slightly perverse nicknames you’ve come up with for her off camera.” Zhoumi mumbled into the phone, voice hiccupping softly.

            “Zhoumi. You have to be kidding. She’s sweet but it was all fake and for a show. Is that what’s got you upset…what’s so great about her anyway?” Kyuhyun frowned.

            “Yes! And how about she’s small and adorable and beautiful and sweet. She’s practically perfect Kyuhyun.”  Zhoumi’s voice hardened, nearly spitting out his name.

            “I don't know, for someone else maybe. Mimi, love, do you want to know what my ideal type is?” Kyuhyun asked. Zhoumi said nothing but uttered a small pained whimper.

“I like people who are very tall because then they have long legs. Legs that go for days and days. And I like short hair because it won't clog up the drain after showers, preferably taken together, and I like big foreheads because they hide big brains that are smart and funny and caring. And most importantly I like people who are very very brave.” Kyuhyun’s voice faded to a whisper as he closed his eyes.

“Kuixian.” Zhoumi whined into the phone.

“And you are so very brave Zhou Mi.” He could hear Zhoumi sniffling on the other end and smiled to himself. “Wait for me a little longer, okay? Be brave for me a little longer?”

“I love you so much.” Zhoumi mumbled across the line.

“I love you too. Don't be jealous of Yixiao, okay?” Kyuhyun asked lightly.

“Only if you don't use any of the Chinese I taught you in private, okay?” Zhoumi responded.

“Most of that is really not TV appropriate Mi…” He trailed off.

“I know.” Zhoumi giggled through the phone.

“Fine then. I think I can manage that.” Kyuhyun chuckled sleepily.

“Go to sleep love.” Zhoumi said affectionately.

“I love you Mimi.” Kyuhyun trailed off as the phone clicked off from the other end.

 

_Mania: Characterized by extreme highs and lows. They love intensely but can become jealous or obsessive._

 

* * *

_April 6, 2013. Hunan Province, China._

 

            Zhoumi loved Super Junior M promotions more than anything. He got to perform new music, be on stage, play on variety shows and, possibly most wonderfully, do all this next to Kyuhyun.  That being said, there was one part of promoting for weeks on end that got slightly…frustrating. Dorms in China were practically public spaces, and when they stayed in hotel rooms, it was even worse.  Privacy was hard to come by with four people in every room, and that made certain activities quite difficult.

            In all honesty, neither he nor Kyuhyun were particularly inclined towards quiet sex. This created quite a problem during long weeks promoting, and as a result tension often ran high between breaks. Zhoumi felt that, at times, it was quite hard.  Literally.

            At least Kyuhyun wasn’t in anything too tight or revealing for the Happy Camp filming. He looked good (as always) but Zhoumi knew that Kyuhyun was probably having a much harder time that he was today. Even the coordi noonas had raised their eyes at how tight Zhoumi’s black skinnies were that day, but they zipped and buttoned, so there was no need to change wardrobe. (Though when Kyuhyun first saw him he practically whimpered, which suddenly made Zhoumi’s zipper feel a lot tighter than it had when he put them on.)

            Admirably, both Zhoumi and Kyuhyun were keeping their cool as the taping progressed. It wasn’t their first time handling public arousal. It was almost a game, who could keep their cool longer, who could turn the other on more. They played the game well, each with their own strategies for any situation that could arise.

            Ahem. Almost any situation, that is.

            As soon as they saw the monkey bars, Zhoumi began to ardently pray that he would be paired with anyone but Kyuhyun. He didn’t even care if he had to face down Siwon, he would _still_ take that over Kyuhyun. As the pairs were made, Zhoumi squirmed internally.

            And of course, as fate and fortune would have it, he and Kyuhyun were paired up. There would be rubbing and giggling and way WAY too much crotch-to-partner contact.  And while that is exactly what Zhoumi wanted right now, the public setting (particularly the audience of adolescent girls and cameras) was less than ideal.

            When their turn came, Zhoumi shoved down any inappropriate thoughts forcefully and managed to keep his mind blank for the entire ordeal. It hadn’t been easy. Kyuhyun began the whole process with a crooked half grin that did funny things to Zhoumi’s stomach. The whole concept seemed increasingly ludicrous; they’d had sex with less awkward humping than this game involved. Sure, Kyuhyun licking his lips and the small slips of exposed skin above his pants hadn’t escaped Zhoumi’s notice. However he managed to keep himself under control. (Although there was that one part where his ass ended up pushed onto Kyuhyun’s crotch and there were some spine tingling, giggle inducing, pupil dilating moment.) When Zhoumi hit the mat, there was immediate relief that the game was over, even as the still present heat of arousal settled into his groin.   

            After the games, they took a small break to grab some water and rearrange the set. While chatting with the hosts, Zhoumi glanced toward Kyuhyun and found a matching set of dark, aroused eyes.  Looks like neither was winning the game today. Making a decision quickly, he grabbed his cell and shot a quick text to the manager and to Kyuhyun.

            The group would be returning to the dorms two people short for the evening.

            After all, every game needed to come to an end eventually (and this ending was going to be quite satisfying).

 

_Ludus: Love is a game. They use strategies to control and conquer their partners and keep them only for as long as they are amusing._

 

* * *

 

_August 8, 2010. Qingdao, China._

 

            It was late. Zhoumi didn’t really know what time it was and he didn’t really care, to be honest. What he really cared about was why his bed was moving and why there were suddenly cold feet pushing against his legs.

            “You smell nice.” Kyuhyun murmured against Zhoumi’s neck. Accepting that his sleep was going to be interrupted, Zhoumi crinkled his nose and opened his eyes.

            “I smell like sweat and booze, Kyuhyun.” Zhoumi responded, wrapping an arm around Kyuhyun’s waist, moving their bodies closer.

            “And Zhoumi. It’s a good combination.” Kyuhyun breathed out, clearly about to fall asleep. Zhoumi sat awake for a few minutes, listening to Kyuhyun’s steady breathing. He glanced at his phone and quickly checked the time.

            12:50. Kyuhyun groaned slightly and slipped out of Zhoumi’s hold, snuggling lower against his shoulder. Zhoumi had an early rehearsal for a solo stage in 4 hours.

            Maybe Zhoumi should have been upset that what little sleep he was going to get was interrupted. Maybe he should resent the slowly warming feet tangled with his or the gentle puffs of air against his bicep. Any reasonable person probably would, even if he did love Kyuhyun.

            Instead he listened to Kyuhyun’s gentle breathing and inhaled the smell of sweat and old clothes. He paused in the quiet of the night just to feel himself next to Kyuhyun. Others might have felt like Kyuhyun was intruding. There was another bed in the room and he could have slept there rather than waking Zhoumi up.

            He pulled the blanket up tighter around Kyuhyun’s shoulders and the younger snuggled firmly into his shoulder.

            It certainly wasn’t that Zhoumi was gaining something concrete. But as he sunk his hand into Kyuhyun’s hair and kissed his forehead slowly, he also knew that letting his exhausted boyfriend into bed wasn’t a selfless action.

            Kyuhyun hummed softly and shifted upwards to face Zhoumi.

            “Mimi, what time is it?” He asked in accented Chinese. Zhoumi smiled.

            “About 12:50 love.” He answered snuggling closer to Kyuhyun.

            “You should sleep soon. You have to be up early.” He murmured, slipping back into sleep.

            “Okay, love. I will.” Zhoumi responded. He snuggled down into his boyfriend’s warmth and sighed in contentment.

            Selfless, Zhoumi was not.

_Agape: Compassionate love. Agape is a spiritual, impersonal love for all people. The self is disregarded._

* * *

__

 

_February 2008. Seoul, South Korea._

 

            In retrospect, Zhoumi thought, learning Korean before getting cast in a kpop band might have been a really good idea. At any rate, not learning Korean beforehand was decidedly a bad one.

            Even when he had first met the other members of the subunit, almost all of their interactions were in Chinese. Promoting in China meant speaking the language, so SM had the artists focused on practicing Chinese. Progress was slow, so for Zhoumi, that meant group practices were mostly comprised of poor Chinese and awkward silence.  

            Worse, though, was the time outside of practice. Zhoumi would often find himself sitting alone at meals or in the dorms while the others spoke over him in Korean.

            After one of the first practices, he flopped into his chair for dinner, preparing for another meal of polite smiles and pantomime. Kyuhyun slipped into the chair next to him and caught his eye. Zhoumi smiled. Although most of the group was strict and formal with him, Kyuhyun seemed to be different. Although, if he was being honest with himself, Zhoumi would have to admit that ever since their first interaction he had a soft spot for the maknae.

            The band began to eat and chat, and he attentively tried to follow the conversation. He was glaring particularly intensely at Siwon, trying to work out what the other was saying, when he caught some movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned to find Kyuhyun waving a fork with a piece of pork on it in front of him. Zhoumi didn’t really know what to make of it until Kyuhyun purposefully moved the fork towards his mouth.

            Even when the others tried to interact with him, it was usually pleasantries or work related. The idea of sharing food had never even crossed Zhoumi’s mind. Still he opened his mouth and ate the pork of Kyuhyun’s fork.

            “Thank you Kyuhyun.” Zhoumi managed to stammer out in halting Korean.

            “Chinese is okay.” Kyuhyun responded, encouraging Zhoumi to speak. “Helps to learn.” He explained.

            “Oh, okay, thank you Kuixian!” A smile split Zhoumi’s face. Friendship had always seemed so distant with his band members due to the language barrier. But maybe things could be different with Kyuhyun.  

            “Chinese name, Guixian.” Kyuhyun corrected. Zhoumi paused for a moment to consider. The company had officially translated Kyuhyun’s name as Guixian, but Zhoumi definitely preferred Kuixian.

            “Kuixian sounds cuter and fits you better.” He muttered in Chinese, far too quickly for Kyuhyun to understand it. “Kuixian.” He finished louder and smiled brightly. Kyuhyun looked sincerely confused for a few seconds before shrugging.

            “Kuixian. Okay.” He responded, a slight blush reddening his cheeks. Zhoumi giggled, finding himself blushing in return.

            Maybe it was time to learn Korean properly.

 

_Storge: Love from deep friendship. Their love unfolds from friendship, taking their mutual interests and compatible personalities into a romantic relationship._

 

* * *

 

_April 19, 2009. Seoul, South Korea._

 

            If you asked Kyuhyun, he’d tell you that it was both the best and worst day of that year. The accident was only two years ago. For any other person this day would be black listed, x-ed out, glossed over. It certainly wouldn’t be the day for celebration. But other people didn't know Zhoumi.

            Kyuhyun wondered what it would be like to be able to pretend this day hadn’t happened. But instead, each year, his own pain is counterbalanced by the brightest point of his life: Zhoumi. Zhoumi loved his birthday and Kyuhyun was desperate not to take that day of happiness out of his life. People spent so much time berating him and undervaluing him—Kyuhyun certainly didn’t need to turn the day of celebrating Zhoumi into a day of remembered pain.

            Although easier than last year, this year brought on a deluge of conflicting emotions. Zhoumi’s smile pitted against ghost pains along old scars. Still, Kyuhyun felt himself smiling back through the haze of memories.

            Kyuhyun let the day slip around him, trying not to focus too closely on any of the details but instead clinging to smiles and fleeting touches. Even as Zhoumi lead him to his bedroom after celebrating. Even as he pressed him into the bed with warm kisses, Kyuhyun let his brain be ruled by his body. If only for a little while.

            But when long cool fingers curled beneath his shirts hem, he froze immediately. He felt Zhoumi pull back, and opened his eyes to find him sitting on his heels across the bed. He shifted to sit upright and hurriedly flicked on the light beside the bed.

            “I’m sorry Mimi.” He began, reaching for his boyfriend.

            “No it’s okay. I know… I know.” Zhoumi muttered, meeting Kyuhyun’s hand with his own. “I just, I wanted to thank you. For today. I know it hasn’t been easy for you to be happy on the anniversary.” Zhoumi shrugged.

            “You’ve got odd ways of thanking people, Mi.” Kyuhyun muttered.

            “Kyuhyun look at me.” Zhoumi commanded, more harshly than he intended. Kyuhyun looked up quickly. “I know that there are rules about the shirt staying on. But I thought maybe today we could move past that.” Zhoumi mumbled. “I think you’re beautiful. Every single inch of you. If you’d give me a chance I could show you.” Kyuhyun closed his eyes warding off tears.

            “Mi stop.” Kyuhyun muttered. They’d been dating for roughly a year and they’d been having sex for just about as long. That being said, even when the pants came off, Kyuhyun’s shirt always stayed on.  Sure Zhoumi had seen him changing quickly, during rare shower sex and even at doctor’s appointments, but the scaring was almost always hidden.

            “No. Kyuhyun please, I am not the fans, I am not SM, I am just me.” Kyuhyun felt Zhoumi brush his lips over his knuckles. “Trust me Kyuhyun.”

            “I trust you Zhoumi.” Kyuhyun made his choice, and dropped Zhoumi’s hand. It was a struggle against two years of bottled up pain and anxiety about his body, but he managed to grasp the ends of his shirt. He screwed his eyes shut tightly, willing himself to ignore the other’s presence. The shirt slipped over his head, ruffling his hair. He barely registered his own exposure before he was being pushed into the headboard, Zhoumi kissing him eagerly. He opened his eyes slowly, meeting Zhoumi’s.

            “Beautiful,” Zhoumi murmured. “Just like I told you.” Kyuhyun smiled genuinely for the first time that day and leaned in for another kiss.

            The next morning Kyuhyun woke up slowly. He shifted back against his nearly naked boyfriend (fully nudity was never a good idea in a dorm, even a nearly deserted one). He felt Zhoumi’s hand shift over the scars on his stomach and tighten around his waist. Kyuhyun sighed, the arm around his chest providing more safety than any amount of clothing could.

            “I love you.” He whispered while the early morning light spilled in through the window.

 

_Eros: Love from sex and physicality. Their love is founded on aesthetic attraction and a hopelessly romantic sentimentality._

 

* * *

 

_February 3, 2014. Seoul, South Korea._

 

            Kyuhyun would have kept gaming happily all afternoon, but a knock on the door caught his attention. Before he could even untangle himself fully from all the cords, Zhoumi burst through the door, dropping his suitcase as soon as it was inside. Kyuhyun shuffled toward Zhoumi, who bounded up to him, smiling from ear to ear.

            “Hello...” Kyuhyun started only to be pulled into a deep kiss mid-sentence. Not that he was complaining. They stumbled backwards hitting the couch and falling onto it in a clatter of gaming devices and elbows.

            Zhoumi pulled back briefly, “Hi.” He grinned before leaning back down and reacquainting himself with Kyuhyun’s mouth.

            “I see you caught an…” Kyuhyun said between kisses. “earlier flight.” He finished. Zhoumi grinned and hummed in agreement.

            “I hate airports.” Zhoumi muttered after their make out session ended, snuggled up against Kyuhyun on the couch. Kyuhyun let himself be rearranged until they were comfortably situated.

            “Why?” Kyuhyun asked absent mindedly, running a hand through Zhoumi’s hair.

            “It means separation and hiding and people judging my clothing.” Zhoumi frowned.

            “Everyone loves your clothing.” Kyuhyun laughed. “You’re practically the fashion plate of Super Junior.” Zhoumi sighed against Kyuhyun’s chest.

            “I want to not spend as much time in airports, I guess. I want to spend more time with you. I want to pick you up at airports.” Zhoumi explained. Kyuhyun felt him begin to trace designs along his t-shirt.

            “I know Mi.” He whispered.

            “I want to go on vacations from airports and I want to spend Saturdays in bed with you, not wandering between crappy food stands, jittery from too much coffee.” Zhoumi continued. “I just feel like this is all so pointless.” Kyuhyun glanced down to find a pouting Zhoumi.

            “Zhoumi, we’re not doing this for right now. None of this is for right now. You know this as well as anyone, our relationship is not for right now.” Kyuhyun responded stroking down Zhoumi’s shoulder.

            “Then what are we doing Kyuhyun?” Zhoumi pulled himself up to sit on the edge of the couch, facing his boyfriend.

            “We’re doing this for forever Zhoumi.” Kyuhyun answered. This is a topic Kyuhyun had often pondered in his free time, waiting for Zhoumi to finish practice or trailing after him in airports.

            “What are you talking about Kyuhyun?” The elder asked.

            “Right now, the band knows and the company knows and as long as we’re careful no one cares. That works for now, I guess, while we sort out our long term goals and life plan. But you, Zhoumi, are worth so much more than right now. You are not my right now; you are my forever. You are not my reward; you are my goal. Even if I can’t have you this moment, I do not want you because I deserve you for having lived a good life; I want to live a good life so that we can be together.  Being a couple isn’t about getting to spend every second of every day together, it’s knowing that even if we can’t constantly be together, we will be together forever in heart. And one day, Mi, in body and soul too. We’re working right now so that we can afford to leave all this behind and be Zhoumi and Kyuhyun. Together. I love you, but right now exposing ourselves would destroy our relationship rather than free us. So we wait.” Kyuhyun brought a hand up to Zhoumi’s cheek.

            “Have I told you today that I love you?” Zhoumi asked. “Even if I have, I love you, okay?” He leaned forward and gently kissed Kyuhyun. “Let’s take a selfie for my weibo.” Zhoumi suggested pushing Kyuhyun back down onto the couch.

            “Really Mi, right in the middle of a deep emotional moment?” Kyuhyun asked, rolling his eyes.

            “Yes, I want to preserve the moment.” Zhoumi explained as he pulled out his phone, getting into position. “Ready? 1… 2… 3!” He snapped the photo and began to upload it to weibo.

            “I guess, you’re okay with all that right?” Kyuhyun asked. “You know I love you and if you asked, I would run away with you right now. I wish we could do that. Run away. Take off and live together and not worry about other people’s opinions.” Zhoumi looked up to meet his eyes.

            “I know Kyuhyun. But you’re right. There is love and then there is reality and we have to straddle that line for a while longer, I guess. We have to find a way to make out love practical, and one day we will. Sometimes I just need a little reminder that whatever the future holds, we’re going to see it through together. Right?” Zhoumi asked, smiling. Kyuhyun lost himself in his memories for a moment. An assembling of images played behind his eyes. He saw their highs and lows, their good and bad in sharp contrast with each other.

            “Of course, love.” He responded, even as Zhoumi looked back down at his phone, reading his weibo post over again before posting.

            Always, my answer will always be yes, my love, Kyuhyun thought, smiling and leaning back into the pillow behind him, listening to Zhoumi’s excited chatter.

 

_Pragma: Logical love. Their love features realistic expectations and an eye to the future._

* * *

__

_August, 2007. Seoul, South Korea._

            There were two things Zhoumi knew. One: That when he went through that door he was going to meet the rest of his band mates. Two: He was definitely going to throw up. His Korean manager cleared his throat behind him and gestured toward the door. Zhoumi swallowed hard and turned the handle.

            Zhoumi didn’t really know what he was expecting, but definitely something worth the stomach churning nausea he’d been experiencing all morning. He was slightly dumbfounded to find that behind the door was a collection of very normal, very tired looking men sitting around a table in silence. Zhoumi knew that this shouldn’t surprise him but he had prepared himself for everything but absolute normalcy.

            As he took in the scene in front of him, his manager ushered him into an empty chair. He spoke to him quietly.

            “This meeting will be in Korean with a Chinese translator. If you don't understand something, don’t ask right away, wait until the end. I’ll be here listening too so I can fill in anything you miss.” He said in Chinese. Zhoumi nodded. “The person next to you on the left is Hangeng. I’m sure you two have run into each other around the building. Feel free to speak to him, if you’d like. On your other side is Kyuhyun.” He said his name slowly in Korean. “He doesn’t speak Chinese. I’ll be sitting just over there, if you need something.” His manager gestured to some chairs at the back and walked away. Zhoumi turned back towards the table.

            He turned to Hangeng, but he seemed completely distracted by something on another band member’s phone. He shifted back to look forward.

            The awkwardness was to be expected, Zhoumi supposed. He shifted slightly in his seat, curious about the others in the room. From the corner of his eye he caught Kyuhyun looking at him. Smiling, he turned towards the other.

            Kyuhyun’s eyes widened as he took in Zhoumi. The elder felt himself blush under his intense gaze.  The butterflies in his stomach were interrupted when one of the SM higher ups walked into the room to begin the meeting.

            Zhoumi tried to pay attention to the meeting, he really did. But he kept catching Kyuhyun looking at him and his focus was completely destroyed.

            He didn’t know what it was about Kyuhyun, but he couldn’t seem to ignore him. His mind started to wander. It wasn’t that there was anything particularly inspiring about the younger. Nothing jumped out immediately; but, Zhoumi reflected, he did have a kind smile.  It wasn’t that Zhoumi was thinking about forever, but of endless possibilities.

            Zhoumi stole another glace at Kyuhyun, accidentally meeting his eyes and blushing. He wondered, what would their relationship become?

            And Zhoumi felt a small bud of hope, deep in his chest.

 

_First Love: A fluttering of the heart. This love is not yet formed, but rather it is the possibility of a love unlike any you have experienced before. It is unsure, but hopeful._

  



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